145593-question-for-social-phobic-introverted-players

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You know what: i feel you. I'm pretty much the same like you. Plus: i do have a few dear friends who are the same, too. I hate feel super uncomfortable being thrown asked by someone from the friendlist to get into a group of random people, even more to join a random Teamspeak or whatever talk. But for sure you don't want to disappoint your friends.

(I should start earlier: I started GW1 in 2007 with a bunch of real life friends (like you did in WoW), so i had always my comfort zone. We had a guild together which i led. It didn't grow much over the time, but those people who joined (and some eventually became good friends) were people i met ingame on occasions where i had to get over my anxiety. Oh and in really rare occasions you might bump into a group of like-minded people and it gets real fun! So in the end, it pays off. :))

So it's hard at first to be on a random TS because most of the time sometimes there are also people around you don't like or don't want to stay with at all. But hey, do you know what helps? Redirect any input (except your friend's and maybe the group leader's ofc) to /dev/null for a while. Just listening is always ok. Just do what you're supposed to do. Those annoying people will most likely leave anyway once the event ended which you met in TS for (or even earlier...). Thats usually the moment when you get to talk a bit with the people who asked you to get there. Even better is when you have your own TS: you and your friend(s) could join both, your and the random TS, while you just talk to your friend on your own TS and listen what's happening on the other. That way you're able to give feedback without constantly chatting or feel arkward to use the mic. ;)

A little anecdote might help you too:

I had a girl in my guild who i met ingame and we constantly played together and chatted a lot but she always refused to come into TS when i asked her. It didn't help that i told her, that i'm basically the same like her regarding her anxiety and that there are only my dearest friends in the channel. However, one day she asked me if i would take her on a DoA fullrun in hard mode. Ok, now that was a thing, one does not simply walk into DoA. So i told her that she needs to join TS to at least listen to the commands. So she joined us. We completed the run, a lot of fun was had and i was really proud of her that not only she overcame her anxiety, but also that she did a great job on her first DoA run ever despite her arkward feels. And i told her that in the end. And suddenly something happened, i didn't expect: she switched her mic on, said hello to everyone and thanked us for being so kind with her and that she's always super angsty but in the end she felt comfortable.

But after all: I too miss that comfort zone here in Wildstar, and although i'm around since day one it's still hard for me to connect to others. I'm okay being a lone wolf. But F2P on the other hand happily put that to an end, because the friends i bugged over time liked W* for sure but didn't want to pay a sub.

(sorry for the wall of incoherent text, thoughts are hard to write down >.<)

Edited October 28, 2015 by Smiley


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I play first and foremost with people I know in real life. Secondly I socialize up to my limit and no more using situations like Housing Zone Chat, which is one of the friendliest places in the game. When I reach my limit I change my chat to the Combat log, and stop listening to people for a little while until I'm ready again. Thirdly, I take advantage of the soloable content the game offers to get myself feeling confident and up to speed before I group through it. The Shade's Eve instance is an Expedition, totally soloable and you shouldn't feel pressured to get a group for your first runs through.


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